Safe enough question, but according to a beloved caller I know, I'm the Whore of Babylon.
"Serious" to me is 'live in as a couple'...so that makes 4 of those. Not too bad for 51, I hope. One more relationship almost made it as a couple but was long distance, and in the 'tween' times (rare), I had several experimental thangs.
- Judy, redhead, 1 1/2 years older than me. Met Sept, 1969 in French Class, dated on and off through the years (mostly off, no sex while dating). Married Aug 20 1977, divorced (officially) April 9, 1979. Big mistake. I fell in love with a straight man and came out in 1978. My one big relationship regret, since I was a the typical confused mess in my early 20s during the process. She went on to marry several more times, and last I heard in 1984, she had 4 kids from 2 different husbands.
- Jim #1, brunette, 6 years older, met when I moved to Grand Canyon AZ, June 1976. Work-type friend over the next few years, but when he got word that I was newly gay with zero experience, he pursued me relentlessly. The relationship marker is January 12, 1979, when we first enjoyed each other as men. He was my first. Lasted until mid-October 1993, when (after slowly growing emotionally distant with each other over the years) he had met someone else and fallen for him. Of course, I thought this one would last forever. It didn't. We still own a rental property together, and are on good terms now.
- Jim #2, redhead, 13 years younger. Met at a friend's party in late June, 1995, and was instantly attracted to his charismatic self. Through subtle manipulation, he moved in 11 days later. HUGE MISTAKE on my part. I'm not that compatible with manic-depressive types, but was wildly attracted to him. He was theoretically HIV+, but I didn't have an issue with that. Although he left me once in April 1996, I took him back in June, and stumbled through till a corrosive, bitter end with him on Thanksgiving Day, 1997. He had already moved to San Francisco once during that time to try his hand at culinary school, and away he went again to terrorize his way through men there. Horrible stories about me made the circuit, all made up. Bitter? Yes.
- Danny, brunette, British 2 1/2 years older. Connected at Peel-Off Palm Springs 2001, although we briefly met at the 1998 Wilde Bunch flyin (although I don't remember it). He was more recently out of a relationship than I was. We're compatible on almost every level, and I love being with the guy, as well as in love (comfortably, without crazy drama) with him.
The one long-distance relationship was Gary in Oakland. We met at the DC convention in '94 and had a fun, but somewhat alcoholic relationship, We could never commit to the final live-in move, both of us liking where we live. That one ended when I met Jim #2. I don't think Gary was particularly happy about the sudden breakup, but he's definitely moved happily forward.
The 4 year break between Jim #2 and Danny was my exploratory period, dating several men both locally and out of state, none of them very succesfully. I did have a very fun boy-friend type of relationship with an attached guy here with 100% acceptance by his partner...that one last about 2 years, but drifted away pleasantly. I don't want to call him a f***-buddy, because we were very close friends beyond that, traveled together both with him and his partner. He was several years older, very experienced in San Fran ways, and has the stunning blue eyes that I lose myself in.
Life lessons? Avoid charismatic redheads, especially those named Jim.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2006-03-11 05:23 pm (UTC)"Serious" to me is 'live in as a couple'...so that makes 4 of those. Not too bad for 51, I hope. One more relationship almost made it as a couple but was long distance, and in the 'tween' times (rare), I had several experimental thangs.
- Judy, redhead, 1 1/2 years older than me. Met Sept, 1969 in French Class, dated on and off through the years (mostly off, no sex while dating). Married Aug 20 1977, divorced (officially) April 9, 1979. Big mistake. I fell in love with a straight man and came out in 1978. My one big relationship regret, since I was a the typical confused mess in my early 20s during the process. She went on to marry several more times, and last I heard in 1984, she had 4 kids from 2 different husbands.
- Jim #1, brunette, 6 years older, met when I moved to Grand Canyon AZ, June 1976. Work-type friend over the next few years, but when he got word that I was newly gay with zero experience, he pursued me relentlessly. The relationship marker is January 12, 1979, when we first enjoyed each other as men. He was my first. Lasted until mid-October 1993, when (after slowly growing emotionally distant with each other over the years) he had met someone else and fallen for him. Of course, I thought this one would last forever. It didn't. We still own a rental property together, and are on good terms now.
- Jim #2, redhead, 13 years younger. Met at a friend's party in late June, 1995, and was instantly attracted to his charismatic self. Through subtle manipulation, he moved in 11 days later. HUGE MISTAKE on my part. I'm not that compatible with manic-depressive types, but was wildly attracted to him. He was theoretically HIV+, but I didn't have an issue with that. Although he left me once in April 1996, I took him back in June, and stumbled through till a corrosive, bitter end with him on Thanksgiving Day, 1997. He had already moved to San Francisco once during that time to try his hand at culinary school, and away he went again to terrorize his way through men there. Horrible stories about me made the circuit, all made up. Bitter? Yes.
- Danny, brunette, British 2 1/2 years older. Connected at Peel-Off Palm Springs 2001, although we briefly met at the 1998 Wilde Bunch flyin (although I don't remember it). He was more recently out of a relationship than I was. We're compatible on almost every level, and I love being with the guy, as well as in love (comfortably, without crazy drama) with him.
The one long-distance relationship was Gary in Oakland. We met at the DC convention in '94 and had a fun, but somewhat alcoholic relationship, We could never commit to the final live-in move, both of us liking where we live. That one ended when I met Jim #2. I don't think Gary was particularly happy about the sudden breakup, but he's definitely moved happily forward.
The 4 year break between Jim #2 and Danny was my exploratory period, dating several men both locally and out of state, none of them very succesfully. I did have a very fun boy-friend type of relationship with an attached guy here with 100% acceptance by his partner...that one last about 2 years, but drifted away pleasantly. I don't want to call him a f***-buddy, because we were very close friends beyond that, traveled together both with him and his partner. He was several years older, very experienced in San Fran ways, and has the stunning blue eyes that I lose myself in.
Life lessons? Avoid charismatic redheads, especially those named Jim.
TMI? ;-)