Movie #3 and my tendency to be judgmental

[billeyler]

In our slow-but-sure quest to see "a good number" of Oscar-nominated flicks, last night we headed downtown and watched "Capote." There were 9 of us in the theatre for the 7:15 performance...obvious that those who wanted to see it mostly have.

Danny fell asleep half way through and started snoring, so I nudged him. Since there is no Replay button at the theatre, whatever abqdan missed was lost forever. Two women not too far from us were noisy, to say the least. Danny's theatre experience was greatly deteriorated from that; I heard them munching and rustling with some whispers, but Danny, sitting one seat closer, said they were talking the whole time. And I'm sure he was just seething.

It's easy to understand why we don't really like going to the movies as quality time.

I did see that Dan Futterman wrote the screenplay for Capote...he's been a little heartthrob of mine since first seeing him in The Birdcage, then later in Judging Amy and Will and Grace. He plays 'innocent, trusting sweet-natured male' well, especially the gay kind, even though he's not gay (in theory).

My thoughts coming out of the movie? That America, particularly in the 1950s and 1960s was abysmally tobacco-saturated...EVERYONE smoked in Brokeback Mountain, EVERYONE smoked in Capote, several did in Transamerica. I know everyone did in Good Night and Good Luck, tho I haven't seen it yet. Never having been a smoker, but growing up in a house where both parents smoked, both my younger brothers did at one point (altho they switched years ago to Skoal, and my mother reverted to snuff 29 years ago)...I DON'T GET IT!

In my short walks around UNM Campus, I'm appalled by the number of 20ish people smoking as they go from class to class or just are wandering around. Even bicyclists smoke as they ride. I seeth if walking behind a smoker, and I can't step out of the way of their sludgy, choke-y fumes. I DON'T GET IT.

I can be judgmental, but this is the one thing that so riles me, that my opinion of someone drops by 50% if I find they are a smoker. I dropped my best friend at age 16 when I found he smoked (and lied about it). Nothing can convince me that someone starts this ridiculously sick drug habit because they really really really want to be a reeking, diseased pariah. But that must be it. Self-loathing. And I certainly don't feel sorry for them, "they" being the 40% of gay people that smoke and 25% of the rest of the population. I especially block out smokers who try to justify their addiction, or who talk about cures for aches and pains and illnesses, forgetting that they are smokers themselves...I don't have to be that tolerant.

Which feeds back to the 3 movies I've seen this year that have gotten major award nods for the past few months. They all outline and highlight our own self-hatred, and give some pretty solid emotional wrenches.

Man, I tell ya, it makes ya think...

Comments

[trulygrateful.livejournal.com]

Very thought-provoking, Bill.

I, too, tend to have my opinion drop of someone (new) if I find they are a smoker and, if they are, will tend to NOT spend much time around them. After all, smoking is their choice, and it's mine to not get that stink of my clothes.

I wish NOT to start a smoking vs. smoking flame war here.

But... I can't help but wonder what must've been going through your head 11+ years ago when we first met (yup, it's been THAT long now, actually) and I was smoking like a chimney. It's rather funny... even though I've been quit since July 1998 (almost eight years now) and smoked for fourteen before that (learned in the Navy back in 1984), it still seems kind of refreshing to have broken those ties.

Hmmm... Brokeback Addiction?

Mucho huggos!

[billeyler.livejournal.com]

I wasn't as close a friend then as I could have been, John. We didn't really hang out very much; most of our relationship has been through online yakking and emails the past 11 years. And I'm glad you quit and (I hope) stay quit, because I love ya! :-)

[annoyinghandle.livejournal.com]

I quit (again) over New Years and have been doing surprisingly well. The difference seems to be that I'm not around other smokers very much this time (not hitting bars, etc.), and I really notice the smell now. Is that it? Could it be that simple? I also now notice how absolutely trashy most folks look with a cigarette hanging out of their mouth, and shudder at the realization that that was me. (Hello. My name is David and I'm an anti-smoking nazi.)

Point is, it's interesting that Bill notwithstanding, non-smokers are generally more tolerant of smokers than are ex-smokers.

pulled, edited, and reposted once I realized that I might've inadvertently insulted Bill...

[billeyler.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the note, David. :-)

I'm looking out the window from my 2nd floor office, overlooking the loading dock of the theatre where I work. There are several union tech people huddled around in the near-freezing weather smoking. They could, of course, be INSIDE the building waiting for the Riverdance trucks to arrive, but they're not.

I'm not a Nazi about it...I just don't hang around smokers if I can help it, keeping my opinions (mostly) to myself. I don't know if it's truthiness or not that non-smokers are generally more tolerant of smokers, than those who have quit. They may just not be saying anything. I'm not going to poll people.

Good luck on conquering that addiction, I'm rooting for you...

[abqdan.livejournal.com]

My views on smoking are similar to Bill's. But I do recognize that peer pressure plays a large part in why people start, and medical trials show nicotine to be more addictive (to those with addictive personalities) than heroin. So I can understand it, just as I can understand alcoholics... but nothing about that understanding makes me willing to spend time with either group.

Incidentally, I don't think I missed more than a minute or two of the movie; but I didn't care for it anyway, and the women chattering ALL THE WAY THROUGH were even more annoying than second hand smoke! And this after the theater displayed a warning - Leave The Dialog To The Actors. Why are so many movie-goers so selfish and self-absorbed?

[billeyler.livejournal.com]

My husband speaks! :-)

Did you notice the first movie trailer was for "Thank You For Smoking"....that should be a laugh riot!

[airporter.livejournal.com]

So does an ex-smoker rise in your esteem?

[billeyler.livejournal.com]

definitely, if my esteem were something to worry about.